Stress on top of stress

Lets take a journey in the last couple months of my life.
My head feels like it is going to explode from the amount of stress..uurrghh
My husband is a disabled vet. that suffers from PTSD and a ton of other things..reason for my paper being about this subject in our comp. class.  Some days its like eggshells around here are covering the floor in hopes that his relapse with alcohol doesn't happen today.  Don't get me wrong I truely love my husband for better or worse but the last few years the thought of worse seems to never go away.  So the last week I have been in a haze and he has been at his mom & dads...for space reasons me not him.  He relapsed on August 29th this year, before that it had been two years.  He only drank that one day and in that one day I ended up in the country soaked in gasoline walking 3 miles to get home.  My kids knew nothing about it because they were with granny for the night.  Of course the one night a year I am free he relapses...urrrgghh.  Then today he comes to stay the night and says "You know I feel like you are not there to emotionally support me...I really need you to be behind the decesions I make in life..I love you"  Are you kidding me I am the most selfless person.. I have given you my whole life... My son just got diagnosed with ADHD... and I really feel like I am on the verge of having an emotional break down myself...but I have no time to sit and worry about me or to think about my choices... because you are constantly thinking that the world is out to get you because you are you...Where does th VA come into support the family members of the military besides to give the vets more medication which in the long run makes them more paranoid...Hence my paper..Really I believe PTSD is a real disorder, but there has to be something else.  My husband is a great, loving father and husband but he gets like this. 
On to a cheerier note....my daughter has made it on the corn city halloween float and my son will march in the parade..I am so excited...When Christmas gets here I think a much needed rest and relaxtion back home to Amish Country is calling my name....